I cockslap morals
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
