All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
