I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
