some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
