I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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