one two three fourrrrnication!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
