How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
they need to just BURY HIM!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
