i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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