He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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