It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
