haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize