You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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