tell your sister to shave her snatch
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
