I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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