i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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