Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize