i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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