I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
