And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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