her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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