You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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