Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
