come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
