please come you make the beer taste better
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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