My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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