I am puke
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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