just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
