Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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