Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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