Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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