Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So drunk its hurt
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
