I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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