it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
