I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
