the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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