She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
