Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
