I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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