I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
