Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Text me some of your sweat
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
