No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
