Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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