you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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