once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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