Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
