I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
