You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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