Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
