btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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