We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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